Is 40 actually the brand new 20?
Okay perhaps not, however as I get able to have a good time my forty sixth birthday this week, I contend that there IS undoubtedly a complete lot of life left after 40.
In truth, I feel I’d even go as far as to say that is my favourite decade up to now!
And so in celebration of my birthday and hopefully growing old gracefully, I believed right now I’d share a couple of of my favourite issues about life in my 40s—the issues that truthfully have stunned me.
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And whether or not you’re in your 40’s, 50’s, or past, I’ll be curious to know whether or not you agree.
So, with out additional ado–listed here are the 5 stunning issues I LOVE about being in my 40s.
I now not care what different individuals consider me.
The primary large factor is that I’ve just about stopped giving a—properly, we’ll say—crap about what anybody else thinks of me.
And that’s truly a fairly large deal.
And it’s not that I’ve ever thought of myself a complete individuals pleaser, however I feel all of us have a bit bit—or perhaps loads—of insecurity with regards to being round individuals and particularly being round different girls.
I’ve all the time been fairly pushed and fairly outspoken and in addition sharp and witty and sarcastic. I’m additionally only a pure chief.
However once I would get round different girls that perhaps weren’t fairly as pushed or outspoken, I’d attempt to tone it down. Mainly I’d attempt to mood my character to suit the social state of affairs, I feel as a result of I used to be usually afraid to be totally ME.
I nervous about becoming in and never offending individuals.
And truthfully I feel that worry or that fear even translated to how I confirmed up in my enterprise. For a very long time, truthfully for years, I felt like I needed to maintain part of me again. I used to be afraid to talk my thoughts or get too controversial or to say something that may offend somebody.
In truth, I feel for a very long time that was why I struggled a lot with social media. I by no means knew what to say as a result of I didn’t actually really feel like I may totally be myself. What if I used to be an excessive amount of?
And I don’t actually really feel like I do this anymore.
As I’ve gotten older, I feel truthfully I’ve stopped caring a lot about different individuals’s opinions and what they consider me. I’m a lot extra keen now than I ever have been to only let the chips fall the place they might.
I’m not for everybody, and that’s okay.
And let me inform you…it feels SO GOOD. I do know who I’m and what I like and don’t like, and I don’t really feel like I’ve received to show myself or change myself to slot in or be accepted.
In order that’s the primary large factor that’s actually stunned me about getting older—I’ve lastly stopped caring a lot about what different individuals assume.
I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin.
The second large factor that has stunned me about getting older is that I’m far more assured in my very own pores and skin than I’ve ever been earlier than.
And it’s kind-of odd once I give it some thought, as a result of once I look again at images of myself at 20 or 25, I used to be so cute and tan and skinny and but SO insecure about myself and my physique.
And sure, shedding 40 kilos undoubtedly helped me really feel much more assured, however my 45 yr outdated physique nonetheless seems to be like a forty five yr outdated physique.
I’ve received varicose veins and cellulite and stretch marks. Daily I discover a couple of extra grey hairs. I’ve wrinkles and age spots and giggle traces and boobs which are beginning to sag just a bit.
However these issues truthfully don’t trouble me.
I really like my physique proper now, simply the way in which it’s, and after fighting my weight for thus lengthy, it kinda feels wonderful to be at this level.
I dance round bare for my husband, which I NEVER would have finished earlier than, and inform him day by day how fortunate he’s to have such a sizzling spouse.
And once more, objectively I don’t assume it’s as a result of I’m truly hotter now than once we first met, however my CONFIDENCE is what has made me extra engaging.
I feel perhaps it’s as a result of as you become old, you acquire knowledge and perspective, and also you begin to understand that your flaws and scars are simply a part of who you might be.
They’re a part of your story they usually’re what makes you distinctive and attention-grabbing.
However that’s the second large factor that has stunned me—how way more assured I’m in my very own pores and skin.
My youngsters are a lot extra self-sufficient
The third factor that has stunned me is how a lot I really like this subsequent part of parenting, the place my youngsters are older and extra impartial and self-sufficient.
And whereas youngsters—particularly teenage GIRLS—undoubtedly have their moments, this stage of parenting has truly been much more enjoyable than I believed it will be.
I all the time thought it will make me unhappy to observe my youngsters develop up, however truthfully it doesn’t make me unhappy. It’s been so enjoyable to observe my ladies develop into changing into their very own individuals.
They’re nonetheless at house for a couple of extra years, however now they’re driving themselves locations and taking duty for their very own homework and don’t require a babysitter once we need to exit—and even when my husband and I need to go away for the weekend.
And that’s truly an enormous deal as a result of dwelling right here in Florida, we by no means actually had any household round whereas we have been elevating our children, and good babysitters are arduous to search out.
I keep in mind so a few years after they have been youthful the place we felt overwhelmed by the neediness. And now I’ve workers who’ve younger youngsters and it makes me keep in mind simply how exhausting that part of life is, and I don’t actually miss it.
And don’t get me incorrect, I truly LOVE youngsters and I’m SO excited for grandkids in a couple of years, as a result of I’m going to be SUCH a kick-ass grandma, however I’m additionally not unhappy that in only a couple extra years my husband and I can be empty nesters and we get to observe our children go navigate the world on their very own.
In order that’s the third factor that has stunned me—how a lot I really like having self-sufficient youngsters.
I’ve approach extra enjoyable.
The fourth factor that has DEFINITELY stunned me is that I’m having WAY extra enjoyable in my 40s than I ever did in my 20’s or 30s.
And perhaps this is because of the truth that my youngsters are far more impartial, or perhaps it’s as a result of I’m extra assured and comfy in my very own pores and skin, however I additionally assume it’s as a result of in my 20’s and 30’s I used to be extra centered on getting married and beginning a household after which rising my enterprise.
However I’ve by no means had extra enjoyable than I’m having now, at this part in my life.
I feel a part of it’s that I simply don’t take myself as significantly as I used to. Once more, perhaps that’s the rise in confidence or simply being much more keen to be myself and never feeling like I have to impress anybody.
However I feel a giant a part of it is also that over the previous couple of years, my husband and I’ve gotten much more intentional about making a shared imaginative and prescient for our life collectively, and for what we would like our life to seem like.
And that undoubtedly wasn’t all the time the case. We weren’t all the time completely on the identical web page. I used to be tremendous busy making an attempt to develop my enterprise and do all of the issues and be all of the locations. I had my very own objectives, however they weren’t actually shared objectives. And that typically put us at odds.
If I’m being trustworthy, typically it felt like we have been dwelling completely different lives.
However throughout COVID quite a lot of that modified.
I out of the blue stopped touring and I used to be house on a regular basis, and we began doing much more issues collectively. We reconnected as a pair and we additionally began making extra native mates in our personal neighborhood. We additionally discovered a brand new church and commenced rising spiritually collectively as properly.
And we began having extra conversations about we truly needed for our life collectively.
And perhaps it has nothing to do with covid, perhaps it’s only a pure factor that occurs as your youngsters become old and get nearer to depart the nest, and you need to come to grips with the truth that in some unspecified time in the future it’s going to be simply the 2 of you, and also you’ve both received to be in it for the lengthy haul otherwise you’ve received to go your separate methods.
For us, it was determining find out how to create a shared imaginative and prescient for our life.
So we truly wrote all of it out—what we would like our life to seem like. We realized that we would like a house the place individuals can collect—a spot the place everybody feels welcome.
And we additionally realized that this imaginative and prescient didn’t need to be one thing we waited for. We may begin inviting individuals to collect immediately.
And so we do. On a regular basis. Even when our life is loopy making an attempt to maintain up with our children’ sports activities schedules and work and all the home initiatives we’ve occurring.
We don’t fear if our home is tidy, or if all the pieces seems to be good. We don’t fear if all the pieces is all pulled collectively and exquisite. Typically it’s not. In truth normally it’s not.
Don’t get me incorrect, I really like planning a superb social gathering, however I don’t WAIT till all the pieces is ideal to ask individuals in. Truthfully as of late we’re normally a complete shitshow and our home is a catastrophe.
However there may be hardly ever a weekend the place we don’t invite individuals over, or the place we’re not gathering with mates, even when it’s simply to have a bonfire within the again area or play pool in our yet-to-be-renovated sport room.
As a result of what I’ve realized at this stage of life is that nobody cares how good it’s.
Once I was youthful I’d get so caught up within the particulars that I’d neglect that the entire level of gathering is to CONNECT.
And in order that’s what we do. And it’s quite a lot of enjoyable.
In order that’s the fourth shock.
I’m far more conscious of my very own mortality.
The fifth shock is simply how way more conscious I’m of my very own mortality.
And perhaps this doesn’t sound like a superb factor, however I truly assume it’s. So hear me out.
It’s not like I’m continuously nervous about dying or something, it’s extra that I’ve a palpable consciousness of the fragility of life and the preciousness of time.
I feel whenever you’re youthful, you assume you have got on a regular basis on this planet. You set issues off since you assume there’ll all the time be a tomorrow or subsequent week or subsequent month.
However as I’ve gotten older, I’ve seen that tomorrow isn’t assured. And so in a normal sense, I feel it’s made me extra intentional about how I spend my time, who I spend it with, and what I’m doing with my life.
I don’t assume I take practically as a lot without any consideration anymore—whether or not it’s my well being, my household, my mates, or simply the little moments all through the day—as a result of I do know that it may all be gone in a heartbeat.
I don’t need to have any regrets. I need to dwell totally and benefit from day by day that I’ve.
So I’m extra keen to take dangers, to strive new issues, and to not let worry maintain me again.
As a result of on the finish of the day, what’s the worst that may occur? All of us die finally in any case. May as properly benefit from the time we’ve.
And that’s been a stunning and releasing mindset to have. It has helped me let go of perfectionism and comparability, and simply concentrate on dwelling my life in a significant approach.
So whereas there could also be extra wrinkles and grey hairs than I’d like, getting older has additionally introduced some sudden joys and classes. And I’m excited to see what else this subsequent part of life has in retailer. It doesn’t matter what, I’m positive will probably be one wild and loopy experience.
In order that’s my checklist—the 5 stunning issues I really like about being in my 40s!
And I’m positive you’ll be able to relate to some, if not all of them, however truthfully I’d love to listen to again from you on this! Do you’re keen on this midlife part of life too, whether or not it’s your 40’s, 50’s or past?
If that’s the case WHY?
Depart a remark under and let me know what you assume!
